


Buried

by hi_im_whY



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst (Voltron), this is my first fic dont hate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_im_whY/pseuds/hi_im_whY
Summary: Lance was never the golden child. He was never the center of attention, although he’d love to be. He gave his best, sometimes even too much, but was never really noticed. He was okay with that, though! After all, he didn’t deserve to have the spotlight in the first place. He never had the talent of any of his siblings. Sure, the boy may have a knack for jokes and teases, but that wasn’t even too impressive. Lance tried his hardest to stick to his studies, but there was so much more to do. He was missing so much just by sitting down and learning the quadratic formula, or the different forms of mercury





	Buried

Lance was never the golden child. He was never the center of attention, although he’d love to be. He gave his best, sometimes even too much, but was never really noticed. He was okay with that, though! After all, he didn’t deserve to have the spotlight in the first place. He never had the talent of any of his siblings. Sure, the boy may have a knack for jokes and teases, but that wasn’t even too impressive. Lance tried his hardest to stick to his studies, but there was so much more to do. He was missing so much just by sitting down and learning the quadratic formula, or the different forms of mercury.

Actually, Lance found that the same dynamic he had with his family had repeated within Voltron. Everyone had a thing. Pidge is a genius, with family being her top priority. Hunk is kind and welcoming, he's talented in the kitchen, with machines, and on the battlefield. Shiro... well-Shiro was strong and balanced. He prioritized those he cared about, but also made sure to not deal damage to any other innocent parties. Allura's a true diplomat with a heart of gold. She's strong in and out, and wants the best in the long run. 

Lotor... Lance barely even knew Lotor, and the prince was already getting comfy with the team! Maybe Lance really is meant to be the odd one out. Matt was in the rebellion, risking his life every day in order to save people. Some could argue that Lance did that, too, but Lance had the safety of a super-powered robotic lion. That set him at an advantage, yet he still wasn't as helpful as Matt.

Hell, even Keith had a thing, and he wasn't even around anymore! Keith was the hot head, sure. But in reality, it seemed as though everyone was hot headed nowadays. Who wouldn’t be if they were in an interstellar war? Still, Keith had so much more to him than that. He was strong and instinctive. He was desperately searching for a home that he had lost long ago. Although Lance sometimes wished Keith had stayed, but he wasn’t going to act on his selfish desires like that.

At the moment, he was with Hunk and Pidge. They were working on some tech stuff, probably building something. Lance wanted to join in too, but he didn’t really know much about all that science-y jazz. "So... what are you guys doing again?" He peeped.

Pidge sighed, not averting her gaze from the computer. "We're intercepting some galra transmissions." 

Lance leaned in to look at the screen. "What does it say?"

"We're gonna ask Lotor, actually! He's a good translator." Hunk butted in. He had his signature smile on his face, one that Lance would hate to trample on with his doubts concerning the new emperor.

Lance hummed, peering at the screen. "Cool!" He bit the inside of his cheek, hard enough that he almost flinched. He really needed to stop that before he chewed a hole through it. "What do you guys think of him, by the way?"

Hunk and Pidge's playful chatter came to a halt as they looked at him. "Whaddya mean?" The smaller of the two inquired. 

"Nothing, really. Just wondering what you guys thought of him!" He swallowed the lump in his throat, choking out a lie. "I think he's pretty cool."

Pidge grinned. "Finally." She clapped her hands, "I thought that you were going to be pissy about him forever." She dropped her hands, "-but I think that he's pretty chill. His accent is funny, at least." 

Lance snorted at that, "How about you, Hunk?"

Hunk leaned back, "I'm not sure. I think he's pretty cool, I guess. If you trust him, I'm sure he's okay." 

The lump in Lance's throat resurfaced, and he fought to keep it down. "Great." His leg began to bounce. He didn't want to keep them from their work any longer than he already had. "Whelp-I'm gonna run around the castle and see what everyone else is up to! I'll see you guys later." He chirped before sliding out of the room. 

***

Lance didn't really know who to bother at the moment. Perhaps he could just talk to someone. He really needed to rant about everything. He decided that he would try the first person he'd come across. He was actually feeling quite homesick. He missed his grandma, especially. And his siblings. Maybe his sister-in-law, Rosa, was pregnant. He knew that she and Luis were trying for a baby. He would be an uncle! Then his mom, and her paella, and the sugarcane crops, and the barn. The hollow feeling in Lance’s heart grew, and he needed to find someone to help fill it. 

Oddly enough, he ended up seeing Allura first, she was with Lotor, to Lance's disappointment. Still, might as well try to talk to her. Surely, she misses Altea as well.

He approached the two. "Hey, Allura?" He spoke softly, interrupting Lotor anyways. 

The princess looked up, "What is it, Lance?" 

"Can we talk? I mean, I know you're with Lotor right now, but I just need to ask you something." Lance shifted uncomfortably as his eyes darted to the left.

"Of course, what is it?" She asked. Lotor leaned forwards in his chair, resting his head on his hands. 

Lance still really didn't trust the prince. Something just didn't really add up. He was the red paladin now, and should rely more on his instincts-but his instincts seemed to be tearing him apart, not aiding him. "Well..." He shifted his weight, "Do you ever get homesick? It's a stupid question, I know, but I-"

Allura cut him off with a soft look. "Lance, of course I get homesick. It's only natural. I believe that it will always be there, but it will certainly recline throughout the years."

Lance swallowed, years? Sure, he figured that fighting an intergalactic space war would be pretty time-consuming, but he did want to see his family at least a few times. “Sure, sure. Thanks, Allura.” He said weakly, hastily walking out of the room. Before he left, he could hear Allura turning to Lotor and whispering about something. 

Lance didn’t want to know. 

Next off; Coran, as it seems. Lance had been comforted by the man before, so maybe it would help. The red paladin walked into the cryopod chambers, where the older man was checking up on some technical difficulties. Lance tapped his shoulder, and he whipped around. 

“Ah, Lance!” Coran chirped, rubbing the back of his neck. “How are you?”

“Not feeling my best, honestly.” The younger of the two sighed as he leaned against the wall. 

That attracted Coran’s attention. “What is it, my boy?” He walked over to Lance. 

“I’m feeling homesick, honestly.”

Coran sighed, “I understand completely. When I was your age, I took Altea for granted. Now, it isn’t even there.”

Lance looked down. “Yeah, I miss-”

“My parents, friends, children.” Coran continued, his eyes glossy. “I miss them all…”

Now Lance felt bad. Coran and Allura had lost so much. What was he doing, comparing himself to them. Hell, everyone on the ship had lost so much. Sure, Pidge knows her family is safe, but she had to search everywhere. Not to mention the fact that she was so young. Lance felt sick. Not just homesick now. No, he felt like a terrible person. Keith had lost almost everything. Shiro had lost his own arm, and had been forced to kill.

Lance was pathetic.

Maybe he could help the team, kick in more. He was the most worthless out of all of them. Just a… stupid kid missing his home when he had much bigger problems. He was ashamed. Perhaps Lance could train more, listen more, He needed to stop letting everything out, burdening the others. Lance inhaled, no. He just needed to stop thinking like that. Maybe he could talk to Shiro. Shiro was always the best at reassuring people. Except for maybe Keith, but reaching Keith was basically impossible at this point. Shiro it is, then.

Lance knocked on the door to his leader’s room. “Hey, Shiro? It’s Lance, can I come in?” 

Silence. Silence. Footsteps. 

The door opened, with a sweaty Shiro behind it. “What is it?”

Lance peered at him, “Are you okay?”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Yes, Lance. Now is that all? You should get to training, or something.”

Taken aback, Lance stuttered a little. “N-no. That’s… that’s not it.”

Shiro was unamused. “Well?”

“What should I do to improve on the team, I don’t think I need to do too much, but-”

“You do, trust me.”

Lance inhaled, “Okay, I can take it. Tell me.” He could not take it.

“First off, train more. You’ve been so distracted lately, it’s annoying. Also, your pointless chatter is distracting to others. Honestly, your problems are always stupid and selfish, please contain yourself." 

"Alright." Lance stood there, taking it all in. His voice wobbled a little, "Thank you, Shiro." 

Lance smiled softly. He could do it.

***

It had been a few weeks (?) since Lance had talked with Shiro. He had tried to change, and was showing improvements. His aim was sharper. His swing was steadier. Sure, they were small improvements, but he was sure that at least someone would notice. At least Shiro would have acknowledged that Lance really was trying. But no, nothing. Nothing would appease his team. Lance just had to accept it, at this point.

Still, he resisted. He refused to give up. He began to skip his skin care rituals, or miss out on a few hours of sleep. Instead, he would train. It was always silent when he trained. At first, he would comment on different things, normally snarky jokes. Then, Lance realized that was what Shiro was talking about them. He began to bottle up his remarks until they had completely disappeared. Lance had been utterly hollowed out and refilled with self doubt and obedience. His former personality had been buried deep inside him, so hidden that he couldn’t even undercover it.

Lance wasn’t even Lance anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, this is really one of my first vld fics!! of course, there was another one, but i’m not proud enough of it to post it on here... 
> 
> my tumblr: vld-ruined-me


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